Couples Therapy
Helping you connect to the most important person in your life
You may have arrived here because…
Your romantic life is on auto-pilot or nonexistent. Between work and kids, both of you are too exhausted for romance.
You walk on eggshells around each other, or have to avoid certain topics to keep the peace.
If it weren’t for the kids, you wonder if there would be anything keeping you together.
The connection is gone, and you crave that feeling of being a team again.
Overall, the marriage is OK, but there are certain issues that come up over and over and never get resolved.
If any of these apply to you, I’m glad you’re here. Read on to see if my couples counseling services might be helpful for you.
You may doubt that the bond between you can be restored.
How many times has the following scenario played out? You try to talk to your partner about something important. Your partner gets defensive and either turns it back on you, or simply shuts you out. You try again to get your point across, but the more you try, the more defensive or withdrawn your partner becomes.
It leaves you feeling alone and unimportant. It leaves your partner feeling like no matter what they do it’s not good enough, like they just can’t ever make you happy. You both end up frustrated.
And now you're both on high alert, so that even when you are being calm and reasonable, your partner still shuts down. Or when your partner does try to show you that they care, it’s hard to give them credit. As this continues to happen, trust and intimacy slowly fade and are replaced with hostility and, eventually, resignation.
Perhaps most of the time you’re able to keep the peace.
Maybe you co-parent well and have found fulfillment through work, friends, or being a parent. And yet, you crave that feeling of partnership, of being able to let your partner in, of feeling truly valued and accepted. After a while, you might wonder if the two of you are still, or ever were, compatible. At times you may even think, “Will I always be alone? Am I just not worthy of love?”
I’m here to tell you that you are worthy of love, and that compatibility is likely not the issue. The real problem is that you and your partner don’t know how to communicate from the heart in a way that the other can take in.
This leads to miscommunication, which erodes the trust you have for each other and causes each of you to put up walls, which leads to more miscommunication. You end up trapped in a destructive cycle that leaves you both exhausted, frustrated, and hopeless.
As a therapist, my job is not to be a referee or take sides.
Rather, I’ll help you understand how this cycle shows up in your relationship so that you can both step out of it. I’ll then guide you, in session, to send clear signals to your partner, and to understand the real message your partner is trying to send you. I’ll guide you to speak to your partner in a way that they can understand, and will make them want to listen to you.
You’ll have a felt sense of togetherness, and then you can take home what you’ve learned and practice together.
Over time, you can repair the trust that has been lost, learn to navigate difficult conversations, and achieve higher levels of intimacy than you’ve had before. You’ll feel like your partner deeply knows and appreciates you, and that they want to meet your needs. You’ll trust that as you journey through life together, you’ll be by each other’s side, supporting one another.
The quality of your partnership is perhaps the biggest factor in your overall wellbeing, so it’s worth it to invest in this part of your life.
I know how important your relationship is, which is why I have trained extensively in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT has been around for 40 years and is considered to be the gold standard in couples therapy due to its success in repairing relationships.
Let’s Talk!
Book a free 15-minute phone call with me.